Shine that Light on Me.

Well, Summer ended not too long ago. Honestly, to sum it up, all I really got out of Summer was hard-work, homework, entrance into pre-calc, new friendships, anger, hatred, betrayal, laziness, and loneliness. The rents came back from China not too long ago; I yearn for the freedom in China: the partying, clubbing, bar-hopping, piercings, tattoos, hookahs, smoking, drinking, being "20." I did miss my mom a lot, my dad, not so much, being that he's away a lot anyway. Them being home, limits me from just being a bum around the house. I'm not going to let them interfere with my focusing now that they're back.

Oh yes, school. The treaded topic of a teenager's life. The "mid-life crisis" for us teenagers would have to be the reputation we hold, the grades we achieve and maintain, the crowd we're in. However, I was lost on my path to success back in the first half of Sophomore year (not ready to go into detail about that), I need to redeem myself. They say I still have a chance for getting into a UC school, the main door I'm striving for. Thus, meaning I need to step it up. I'm not going to let myself crash and burn on this second opportunity I was given, that's just stupid. So.. for the amusement for you as my reader, and embarassment of me.. ladies and gentlemen. The grades I'm working for:
Honors Chem: A-. You've gotta be shitting me if I get a B in this class I already took.
AP Chinese: A++++++ NIGGA!
English3: A. Really now..
AP Art History: Uh.. B, if I try ahha. This class is way intense for me.
Pre-Calc: A-. If not, then B+.
Off Season: A/B if I ditch ahhaha.
Lacrosse: I was sure I'd be center this year, but now that we have new coaches, and new promising players, I'm not so sure if I'll stay center anymore. Fack competition.

SO.. I really could get a 3.8-4.4, if I really tried. My mission is to dominate Junior year. I know I'll start losing optimisism after a while, but hey. It's not a bad thing to start the school year off with a positive mentality, right?

To me, Dreams can't Exist.

Every so often, I get asked the typical, "what do you want to do with your life?" question.
Trouble is, I can't answer them without being scoffed at. Being me, everything I envision doing in the future involves mere tasks that involve no usage of the brain. It's a given, I like to do things that don't involve thinking too hard.

I want to be a pastry chef: I'm good with designing details, but how can I support myself in the future?
I want to be an interior designer: I'm great with colors and am good at just designing, but anyone can say the same.
I want to be a make-up artist: I like playing around with make-up for other people, but that job can't last long.
I want to be a cosmetologist: Since I have pretty bad skin, I want to help others. But how can I do that when I can't even fix my own?
I want to be a psychologist: I'm decent at helping people with their problems, and thinking realistically, but anyone can do that.
I want to be a veterinarian: I love dealing with animals, but I'm allergic to cats, and how could I stick a needle into a puppy?
I want to be a piercer/tattoo artist: I'm fond of them, but I can't be responsible of fucking someone's body parts up
I want to have my own clothing line: I'm okay at drawing/thinking of t-shirt ideas, but I suck flat out at Adobe Illustrator, and who would buy my shit?

Pretty much, my dreams are a bunch of shit. Of course, I do want a secure future, and a stable lifestyle where I don't have to constantly fret over financial issues. Everything I want to do, is just silly dreams. Dreams that haven't been thought thoroughly about. I need to think realistically, and put all these wishful-thinking dreams behind me, regardless of the whole "follow your dreams" bullshit.

I Got My Summer "Un Lock."

You needa be a G in order to get the title's pun.

Elite's Afternoon Boot Camp (ABC) is finally over. Eight weeks... went by so quickly! LOL @ all the drama that happened. I'm so over drama--- don't give me any! I'm fine with just watching. My score did increase, but it's still not satisfactory. Maybe the extension will help me? Indeed, Ivymax can always save my ass too. Ugh, how depressing. As for right now, I'm free during the weekdays and sunday now.

Plans of the rest of '09 summer:
- make memories with my friends
- clean my room (I actually had to do it today, but I was eating shaved ice with Alyssa)
- sleep
- work-out (seriously)
- tan
- shop
- dye my hair light-brown/blonde, or just brown.
- lip piercing (pending)
- tragus piercing
- start and finish summer reading
- get the hair fixed


I hate it when people diss my music taste. Hello?! My taste in music is the one thing that I hold pride for.